It's been almost a week since I stepped on the plane at the airport in Puebla, Mexico, and said "goodbye for now" to new friends at Esperanza Viva. I've been writing this post in my head ever since then, but I've had so much trouble putting text to the way my heart has swelled and been transformed as a result of spending several days with the lovely and precious children at the youth home.
So in these early days of thinking through experiences from the trip and processing the life changing experience I just had with my two of my children and a team of beautiful souls, I have been giving myself permission to not have the words quite yet.
Instead, I've been trying this week to tune my heart to the moments that tugged at and stretched my heart.
The moments that hijacked the feeling of complacency I have been swimming in far too long.
The moments that have given new life to the voice of injustice which has been relentlessly tugging at my shirt like an impatient child and has finally spoken clearly and prophetically above the noise and chaos of my typical days.
I'm soaking in some truths right now- we are loved with a perfect love. Our weakness, our "end of our ropeness" is the perfect kind of garden for God to step in and bring power and healing.
And this, believe it or not: God can take the situations that seem without hope, and He not only brings the hope, but makes something out of it that is as lovely as you've ever seen. And believe me when I say that at Esperanza Viva, I saw the sheer loveliness that comes only from His healing and creativity, and it has brought me to my knees.
The words to one of my favorite songs (Beautiful Things by Gungor) keeps rumbling around in my head:
All this pain/ I wonder if I'll ever find a way
I wonder if my life can really change at all
All this earth/ Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?
But you make beautiful things/You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things/ You make beautiful things out of us
All around/ Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make me new/ You are making me new
During my time playing with the children and getting to know the staff who care for them, the thing that kept blowing me away was the truth that God can take the most discouraging and hopeless of situations and truly bring beauty out of it in the most creative and imaginative way. Beauty from dust. Beauty out of us. It's true for the children of Esperanza Viva, and thank goodness it's true for me and for you.